While diverse nationalities make up the US as a country, Americans in general are known for their can-do spirit. A writer once described Steve Wozniak, co-founder of Apple, as having the “confidence that seems to come so naturally to Americans.” To be sure, over many years in the US, I came to adopt that can-do mindset and to walk with an air of confidence about me.
Enter little Ronnie boy, subjected to quite a bit of teasing, yes, but with a good amount of smarts and nerdish determination, wholly breathing in that American oxygen and poised to strengthen my command of English in a forthright manner.
My mother loved to read 'Readers
Digest,' and had a collection of this magazine in the basement. There was a regular section called Word
Power in each issue. The reader was
quizzed on the meaning of 20 words, then on the next page each word was defined
and given a bit of its derivation. I
took every single issue I could find, cut out the Word Power section, and
organized them into a folder. I also made
lists and lists of such words.
What’s more, I read the dictionary. (Yes, I told you I was a nerd, didn’t I.) And I added more words and definitions to my
lists. I even made myself get into the
habit of having a notebook handy, whenever I read a book. So when I ran into a word I didn’t know, I’d
jot it down and later on re-visit my trusted friend, the dictionary, to learn
its definition.
Oh, I didn’t stop there!
I managed to get audiotapes for learning to speak English. At night, alone in my bedroom, I followed
each lesson. I’d hear the man or woman
speak a word or phrase, then I’d pause the recorder to repeat after him or her. Night after night, I learned my lessons with
a can-do discipline that wasn’t typical of many children.
Still, later on, I fell in love with British literature –
that of William Shakespeare, WH Auden, Thomas Hardy and Jane Austen. There was a series of British programs on
“Masterpiece Theatre,” based on high-level literature, which I’d watch without
fail. I’d record some of these programs,
then practice speaking like the British actors – for example, Sir Derek Jacobi
as Shakespeare’s “Richard II” and “Hamlet.”
I’d memorize passages of Shakespeare, and recite them in the car, in the
library, and around the university campus.
Heaven only knows how the British voice re-shaped my English.
In any event, through my teens, I successfully fortified my
command of English and gradually rid myself of my accent.
*
We know that many immigrants to a country will collect
themselves into neighborhoods or villages, so as to retain the old world in the
new world. They have a great deal of
love and respect for their home country, and this remains undiminished even as
they pursue opportunities in their new country.
Their children are reared in such a context.
My parents were not
like these immigrants. They gradually
and systematically separated my sisters, brother and me from virtually all
things Filipino – the country (absolutely no annual leave back home), the
people (away from relatives), the history and culture (no books, art or
programs on these). In effect, what they
aimed for, even before we left the Philippines, was an utter,
categorical immersion into American life.
It was assimilation into the new country that, for each of us children,
surpassed 100%.
Unfortunately, as a result, we as a family also came to
disfavor Filipinos. This is sometimes called
“reverse discrimination” – a certain bias against others of the same
nationality or race as ours. There is
the notion that people who’ve been historically disfavored – even oppressed – may identify with the attitudes of the
oppressor or in the least hold others of their kind in disregard. The psychology is this – such people may be
attempting to master, even control an experience of powerlessness and
disenfranchisement that lies within them.
I can tell my bold Filipina friend that this reverse
discrimination isn’t something I’m proud of – is something I’m ashamed of, in
fact. Thankfully, such an attitude
remained at low levels, and I rid myself of this as I began to rediscover my
Filipino identity in my 20s and to appreciate my Filipino heritage.
In the end, I am forever grateful to the years I spent
growing up and working in the US. The
negative things that happened to me were, indeed, a positive impetus to learn, to progress, and to become a
contributing member of the wider global society. Yes, I admit that the command of English I
gained effectively came as a Pyrrhic victory – I lost my native tongue. Still, I can count on that same can-do spirit
as I work to re-learn Tagalog.
*
Note: A version of my article was posted on Relativity Online.
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